The quiet of the storm before the plunge
by Serenechemnerd
Summary: A brief snapshots of Kara's life if she hadn't made it off of New Caprica. Adult content. Complete.


Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, they just fascinate me.

Kara gets left behind on New Caprica...

There is madness in love, someone was quoted as saying once. Kara had been looking across the kitchen table at Leoben for more than a year. He was patient, she was not.

Why, oh why had she come back for Kacey? He had already had the little girl removed, hearing the resistance fighters coming closer and closer. When Kara had gone back for Kacey, impatiently batting Sam away, Leoben had managed to capture her. And now Kara was stuck with him.

Over a year had passed. They rarely spoke; she rarely killed him any more. Slowly he was wearing her down. Solitary confinement was one way to mind frak a prisoner but voluntarily not speaking to someone for over a year was getting to Kara. Sometimes her mind would play tricks on her and it would be one of her men: Helo, Lee, Sammy, or the admiral talking with her. She wasn't so far gone to imagine the women when he spoke to her, yet.

Today was a special day for Leoben. It was an anniversary of sorts; the first time she'd watched him die by being blown out an airlock. His last moments had been near and dear to him and he hadn't shared the day with her last year as she had killed him on this day last year for the eleventh time.

He gets up and moves towards the cupboard. He had found a gift for her; a music player. He hadn't managed to find the recording yet but that would take getting closer to the fleet and Leoben liked trailing after them.

He was ever surprised Kara didn't feel the artificial gravity or when the FTL jumped but he always made sure to get her good and drunk before they jumped. It was some of his favorite times with her as the usually hot headed Kara gave way to Starbuck.

As she looked up at him she noticed he had a present in his hands as he walked towards her.

"Do you know what today is?" He asked leaning over her slightly, then decided to back off.

"Sorry I left my planner on Pegasus." She retorts. Causing him pain had become her life, her sport, her hobby. Never did he respond, except for today. Today he chuckled at her and gestured for her to open the package.

He waited until dark, but she wouldn't touch the gift. He opened it for her and placed in front of her. She blinked a few times then looked up at where he stood next to her chair.

"Wha…." She barely got out before he moved to plug in the stereo. It had a classical jazz disc stuck in it. When he turned it on and the still apartment was filled with the sound.

"Three years ago today I died for the first time." He came and stood behind her. He gently touched her shoulders, she flinched. "You were the last person I saw, the last person I though of, the last person to reach out to me. Do you remember?"

"I remember." She said faintly. "Why would you give _me_ a present today? Gifts are for celebrating. I beat you nearly unconscious and watched my fearless leader flush you out the air lock."

"What did you do that night when you were alone?" He moved to sit on the chair next to hers, moving a hand down to clasp hers resting in her lap.

She looked at him almost in awe. "How do you know about that?"

"I answered that during the interrogation." He watches her swallow almost convulsively as she tries to figure out why this cylon was making this day some sort of anniversary.

"You may know me." She whispers beginning to shake, "but I don't know you. I don't understand you." He brings both his hands up to rest on her biceps and sighs.

"Yes you do, you just don't want to admit you know me better than anyone else in this universe." He squeezes her arms briefly and lets her go, knowing his peaceful admissions of love are met with pride and ego and fear and most of all, guilt.

She just looks at him sorrowfully as the music plays on. He gets up and moves towards the couch, where he sleeps most nights.

She was back on Galactica. _Damn_, she thinks. _Same dream_. She wonders which one of her lovely men will come visit her in this vision. Most of the time it was Sam but Lee was balanced in there too. Sometimes she felt guilty when she wakes up, but most of the time she just wakes up panting and crying at the loss she experiences over and over dreaming about the people she loves.

Tonight, in her dream, she just plays cards with everyone and flies her viper. It was a great dream and when she wakes up, she shuts her eyes tight trying to snatch the dream back.

It was still dark and yet she was awake, wide awake. Her body feels like it is on fire. The anticipation of the dream only heightened the need. She listens to try to hear if Leoben was there, knowing he leaves almost every night. Not hearing anything she strips out of her sweat stained clothes and runs her hands down her flushed body as the memory of flying is still fresh with her.

She picks from her gallery of faces and focuses on Sam's blue eyes as she eases her hands down again making herself shiver. She is slick and wet from the dream. She begins moaning as her fingers work over her neglected flesh. As she gets closer to the finish she moans even louder.

Leoben lays perfectly still on the uncomfortable couch listening to Kara as he has every now and again. He'd feel bad about it later and make it up to her but here in the dark, he fantasized about making her make those noises some day, knowing bitterly that day would never come.

Kara's mouth is open as she pants knowing it would all be over soon; the rapture, as brief as it is, would take her away from New Caprica even if its only for a moment. As she finishes, her vision is filled with the one person she hates herself for wanting.

"Leoben." She moans loudly. She bites her tongue in protest cursing herself. She gets up and showers.

Leoben sits upright on the couch, not believing what he just heard. He sits shocked for the rest of the night.

Days later Kara begins acting strangely. Kara is beginning to break down further. Leoben felt bad, but not bad enough to let her go. She's his now.

Fin


End file.
